Richard Simmons died last week at the age of 76. Simmons gained fame for his exercise videos, in particular his Sweatin’ to the Oldies series. Simmons, having grown up in New Orleans as an obese child, went on to not only lose weight, but find meaning and joy in physical fitness. He shared that message in his videos, television appearances, live events, and classes at his exercise studio, Slimmons. He was born Milton Teagle Simmons to a Jewish mother, Shirley May “Sadie” Satin Simmons, but he was not raised Jewish, and he eventually became what he called an “extreme Catholic.” Why did Shirley’s Russian Jewish family disown her?    

‍ RichardSimmonsSept2011 by Angela George is licensed under ATTRIBUTION-SHAREALIKE 3.0 UNPORTED via Wikimedia Commons

A. Because she served gefilte fish at her seder that was made from non-kosher catfish.

B. Because she married a non-Jewish man, Leonard Douglas Simmons Sr.

C. Because she was a burlesque dancer on Bourbon Street in New Orleans.

D. Because she enrolled Richard in a Catholic elementary school, Mater Dolorosa, instead of the local public school.

E. Because it was her disgusting chopped liver that drove Richard to Catholicism.

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In the recent debate between Donald Trump and Joe Biden, the discussion devolved into comments about each other’s golf skills. Trump said of Biden that “He can’t hit a ball 50 yards.” Biden retorted, “I’m happy to play golf if you carry your own bag. Think you can do it?” And more recently, during President Biden’s press conference at the end of the NATO conference, he called out the former president by asking, “Where has Trump been, riding around on his golf cart, filling out his score card before he hits the ball?” Israel is home to two golf courses in Caesarea–a 6500-meter 18-hole course and a 9-hole par 3 course. The 18-hole course was built after James Armand de Rothschild visited the ancient ruins at Caesarea and noted that the surrounding sand dunes were reminiscent of golf courses in his native Scotland. Being an accomplished golfer himself, he decided to build a course on that land. The course opened in 1961 at an event that featured famed golfer Sam Snead. But this was not the first golf course to exist in this region, as the British Mandate authorities had built a golf course on the Dead Sea near Kibbutz Kalya in the 1930’s. British soldiers and civil servants established three competing golf organizations at the time which offered tournaments and frequently held competitions with each other. One was named the Jerusalem Golf Club and the second was the Palestine Police Golf Society. What was the name of the third group?

‍ אבא אבן בפתיחה Minister Abba Eban in the opening of Caesarea's golf course by מועדון הגולף - אוסף צילומי הארכיון is in the public domain via Wikimedia Commons

A. The Tea and Crumpets Golf Society.

B. The Sodom and Gomorrah Golfing Society.

C. The Golf and Matzah Ball Club.

D. Blokes and Strokes Golfers Association.

E. The British Putz Club.

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Richard “Kinky” Friedman died last month at the age of 79. Friedman, the grandson of Russian Jewish immigrants, was raised in Texas, and formed his first band, King Arthur & the Carrots, while studying at the University of Texas in Austin. In 1973, having previously been given the nickname of Kinky because of his hair, Friedman formed a new band called Kinky Friedman and The Texas Jewboys, performing satirical music, but also becoming part of the country rock movement of the time that included Graham Parsons and the Eagles, among others. The band toured with Bob Dylan, and became well known for songs including Get Your Biscuits in the Oven and Your Buns in the Bed, We Reserve the Right to Refuse Service to You, Ride 'Em Jewboy (a Holocaust tribute), and most famously, They Ain’t Makin’ Jews Like Jesus Anymore. Friedman also wrote numerous detective novels, ran unsuccessfully for office in Texas, and wrote a column in the Texas Monthly magazine for many years. What was once written about Kinky Friedman in the Texas Monthly?

Kinky Friedman by Stephen C. Webster is licensed under CC BY 2.0 via Wikimedia Commons

A. He’s the “only recording star in Nashville who buys his clothes at the Hadassah Thrift Shop.”

B. He’s the “only recording star in Nashville who takes the cheese off of his burger.”

C. He’s the “only recording star in Nashville whose success there is even more shocking than Beyoncé’s.”

D. He’s the “only recording star in Nashville who offends the Jews but the Jews love him anyway.”

E. He’s the “only recording star in Nashville whose bris had more attendees than his debut at the Grand Ole Opry.”

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Oklahoma’s state superintendent has ordered that schools include the teaching of the Bible in all classes. Among those immediately protesting Oklahoma’s new requirement is the Jewish Federation of Tulsa, which issued a statement saying, in part, “we believe this directive undermines the core principles of religious freedom and the separation of church and state.” Jews first came to Oklahoma in the late 1800’s, attracted, as were many others, by the Land Run of 1889 (an event where previously restricted lands in former Indian Territories were opened by the U. S. Government to anyone who wanted to stake a claim). Jews settled throughout Oklahoma, often opening clothing or furniture stores. High Holiday services were first held in Oklahoma City in 1890 and a synagogue was established there in 1903. The current Jewish population in Oklahoma numbers roughly 5000. What was the context of a headline in a newspaper that read in part “Shylocks of Oklahoma City” ?

Flag map of Oklahoma by Darwinek is licensed under CC BY-SA 3.0 via Wikimedia Commons

A. In 1927, the local chapter of the Ku Klux Klan burned a cross on the lawn of Temple B’nai Israel, Oklahoma’s oldest synagogue still in operation.. The klansmen left behind flyers telling the Jews to leave Oklahoma, with a headline that read “Shylocks of Oklahoma City–Go Away!”, as reported in the headline of the Muskogee Phoenix newspaper. Thankfully there was no damage done to the synagogue and no one was hurt.

B. The headline in the Oklahoman newspaper referenced the annual Greek rush at the University of Oklahoma-Norman (a suburb of Oklahoma City) with the headline “Fraternity Prospects Dance with the Shylocks of Oklahoma City”. As part of the annual rush for new pledges, each fraternity put on a presentation for new freshmen. The school’s only Jewish fraternity, Alpha Epsilon Pi, presented a short play called The Merchant of Norman, based very loosely on Shakespeare’s The Merchant of Venice, featuring some of the fraternity members dressed like Shylock while dancing the hora.

C. In 1907, when Oklahoma became a state, the capital city was Guthrie. But a few years later it was proposed to move the capital to the larger city of Oklahoma City, much to the chagrin of Guthrie residents. A statewide vote was held and the move was approved, after which the Secretary of State, Leo Meyer, who was Jewish, stealthily moved the official state seal from Guthrie to Oklahoma City. The residents of Guthrie were outraged, and the Guthrie Daily Leader later ran an article with the headline “Shylocks of Oklahoma City Have State by the Throat”. Basically, the belief was that the Jewish merchants in Oklahoma City had conspired to have the capital moved for their financial benefit.

D. The complete headline, which appeared in the Dearborn Independent, read “Shylocks of Oklahoma City Spread the Dust Around”. The Dearborn Independent was Henry Ford’s weekly newspaper which regularly featured his antisemitic rants, blaming Jews for World War I, controlling the gold supply and American economy, and promoting The Protocols of the Elders of Zion. This article was in response to the Dust Bowl storms which covered Oklahoma and much of the mid-west in the 1930’s. Ford blamed Jewish businessmen and bankers for usurious practices which put farmers out of business, leading to the drying up of the fields that fed the dust storms.

E. West Side Story, the musical about the conflict between New York’s Puerto Rican and white gangs, was originally envisioned as East Side Story, a conflict between New York’s Jewish and Catholic communities. Similarly, the musical Oklahoma, with its conflict between the cowmen and the farmers, was originally about a conflict between Oklahoma’s red neck and Jewish communities. The review in the weekly arts paper The Oklahoma Free Press had the headline “Shylocks of Oklahoma Meet the Crackers of Claremore”. The play featured an earlier version of the song The Farmer and the Cowman including these lyrics: The Shylocks and the Crackers should be friends/Oh, the Shylocks and the Crackers should be friends/One group eats the paschal lamb, the other likes to chew on ham/But that’s no reason why they cain’t be friends.

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