President Trump will be hosting an in-person Chanukkah party at the White House this coming Wednesday. Many of the Jewish leaders who were invited have declined to attend because of the COVID risk. Some, however, plan to be there, including ZOA president Mort Klein, who explained the motivation of those attending, “They want to see important people and they want to be seen.” At the 2015 White House Chanukkah party, President Barack Obama addressed the attendees, including Israeli president Reuven Rivlin, and compared the Chanukkah story to what movie?

White House Hanukkah Reception 2019 is in the public domain

A. Said President Obama, “All of us come together along with Jews around the world to celebrate a band of Maccabees who inspire us even today. They remind me of another scrappy gang of fighters, The Dirty Dozen. Right? Their job was to wipe out an entire band of Nazi officers, and they had no military training at all. The were just tough, and committed to a cause. I mean, couldn’t you see Judah Maccabee played by Lee Marvin?”    

B. Said President Obama, “All of us come together along with Jews around the world to celebrate a band of Maccabees who inspire us even today. They were the original Inglourious Basterds. They stood up to the oppressors, and showed that with faith, you can achieve victory against the greatest of odds.”

C. Said President Obama, “All of us come together along with Jews around the world to celebrate a band of Maccabees who inspire us even today. Makes me think of Rocky. Now here’s a guy who doesn’t even belong in the fight. There is no way this dude is going to defeat the world champion, Apollo Creed. Right? So here you have Judah Maccabee, the Rocky of his day, going up against King Antiochus, definitely an Apollo Creed kind’a guy. But Judah fools everyone by winning. And when it’s all over, Judah Maccabee, exhausted, stands in the Temple and yells, ‘Yo, Adonai!’ ”

D. Said President Obama, “All of us come together along with Jews around the world to celebrate a band of Maccabees who inspire us even today. They were outnumbered, out armed yet proved freedom can prevail over tyranny, hope can triumph over despair, light can prevail over darkness. That sounds like a description of the new Star Wars movie but this one happened a little earlier.”

E. Said President Obama, “All of us come together along with Jews around the world to celebrate a band of Maccabees who inspire us even today. And think about those Maccabees. You know who they remind me of? The Deltas, from Animal House. Am I right? Judah Maccabee is definitely Blutarsky. His brothers, John, Simon, Eleazar, and Jonathan–they’re Otter, Boon, Pinto and Flounder. And then there’s Antiochus. Now he is Dean Vernon Wormer, for sure. You know, the guy who wants to get rid of the Deltas. He’s the Dean, so you figure he’s gonna win. But those toga-wearing Deltas, or in this case, the toga-wearing Maccabees ruled the day. And just like Bluto inspired his men by saying ‘Over? Did you say over?? Nothing is over until we decide it is! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell, no!’, I'm pretty sure that Judah Maccabee said, ‘Oil? Did you say oil?? The oil doesn't stop burning until we decide it is! Was it over when the Russians bombed Tzeitel’s wedding? Hell, no!’ ”

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